#16 You haven’t lived until you were somewhere alone

I’m writing this as I’m swinging in this playground with absolutely no one around, with one glove on and the other hand on my phone. I’m listening to music. I can only see some hair strands being blown by the wind and my battery draining. I might get to this later.

Back at it. I’m at the subway station, waiting. Still pretty lonely, although there are plenty of people around me. I have an immense to do list for today: leave some important papers at the board of education, then go grocery shopping because I’ve started this new diet and I have nothing that I need at home. Great. It’s a long road to pass and it’s spread all around my city. Sounds exciting considering that I feel very, very sick.

However, I’m on the subway now and to be honest I feel like it’s going so slowly. I am purely looking forward to shopping. I am aware it didn’t sound like such a long list of responsibilities, but if you were me you’d know that I’d rather had spent my day reading and in bed.

Waiting for the subway once again. I lost it by one second, literally, it’s getting frustrating. I’ve solved the paper thingy and in the two minutes that I’ve been there, the lady managed to be rude and irritating. Does she think I’m having a day of sunshine and rainbows?! Whatever. I cannot wait to get to buy the low-carb food I deserve.

I’m done grocery shopping and I’m super happy with what I got. On the other hand, my arms are shaking (pun intended). I had to sit down. Who the fuck told me it was a good idea to carry everything on my own????!!!! Oh, that was me. Never mind. Let’s see if I can make it home.

I finally got on the bus and sat down. I have never felt such blessing. I cannot freaking wait to have to walk to my block. (if you can’t tell, I’m sarcastic)

Alright, after many attempts at walking I got home safely. By now, you’re probably re-reading the title and wondering what it has to do with what I wrote.

It’s simple.

There was a particular beauty in swinging alone, in admiring the trees, waiting. There was also the fun I had finding places, walking alone. I felt different having no one keep me busy. I was buried in my thoughts, able to visualise what I was going to write, how I wanted to, where I was going, my plans. It’s unexplainable, although it felt right having everything smoothly arranged in my brain. Pretty fascinating, if you ask me.

Weirdly satisfying, also, how this sensation of responsibility, combined with actually achieving some small goals, with being able of seeing things in a whole new perspective. I feel that, when we are alone, we view what’s around us with what seems to be a unique sense. That’s what I meant by the title.

Today is not the day those happened. I decided to end this entry after a while considering I’d form a general opinion. I have. Also, it was written throughout the day for a better, more lively perspective. I don’t know whether or not that was so, yet what I am sure of is that I’ve put my exact reactions (maybe a little bit more censored, my arms were hurting like literal hell: burning and I was barely able to move them and my back, it was horrible and I felt very sick afterwards. I’m not exaggerating; I’m not a physically strong person and I was starving, the road was pretty long and my muscles were already sore from the day before). It felt good knowing I’d write down my feelings and work for an entry.

To be honest, if there was a way to record everything you see every day, among with your exact thoughts – that’d be great. Imagine how many good movies would be, just download them from your brain and montage that shit! Easy.

I’m kidding, but seriously now. I’m talking an automatic journal or something. Make that happen. Not to mention it would be a lot easier for artists to remember images and for writers to… Well, write.

That was my point and I hope you had no problem seeing it the way I do. If you haven’t, Try doing something you usually do with someone else alone. If you feel like calling friends over, don’t unless it’s a matter of safety.

Tell me how it went.

Good luck.

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